jokes to keep your day going

For a long time Akpos has been battling with a leak in his roof. One night there was a very heavy down pour, he had to move from one corner of his house to the other to avoid drops from his roof. This made him have sleepless night. The next morning he decided to fix his roof, after scouting for ladder in his neighbourhood, he tried to climb to the roof. Climbing wasn't easy, he panted and sweated but successfully climbed to the roof, as he was about to fix the damage, he heard a knock on his door. He yelled from the top of his voice, "who is that?" A tattered looking beggar showed up at the ground and said, "excuse me, can I see u?" Akpos asked "what is it you want to tell me?" The beggar said, "just spare me one minute". Akpos climbed back to the ground, looking tired and asked "what can I do for you?" The beggar said "can u give me N20?" Akpos thought for a while and said "FOLLOW ME". The two of them started climbing to the roof, panting and gasping for breath, they got to the roof, after panting for one minute Akpos turned to the beggar and said "I DON'T HAVE" A professor and his illiterate Wife went for an interview, on getting their the interviewer said the interview would be conducted one after the other. The professor first before his Wife. Interviewer.....Q1 Who is Ancient philosopher that was born 384 Before Jesus Christ ? (BC) Professor.......Aristotle Interviewer.......Q2 when did he Die ? Professor......322 year Before Christ was born (BC) Interviewer Q3 Did he leave any theory ? Professor..... Yes but not scientifically Prove. After the interview, the Professor told his Wife the three Answer before she was call on for her Own interview Interviewer..... What is your Name madam? Madam....... Aristotle Interviewer........when were you born ? Madam.........322 year Before Christ was born (BC) Interviewer.......Are you Mad ? Madam..... Yes but not scientifically Prove. A bus conductor was asking a passenger for the transport fare. conductor:Oga wey ur money? The man:I am a staff. conductor:u be police The man:no conductor:u be soldier The man:no conductor:u be navy the man: no conductor:so which staff u be,ogbeni pay men joor. The man:I be boko haram member! The remaining passenger shouted Oga no mind the bus conductor jare,driver next bus stop please.